Personal Clients

Or Should You Ever Do Freelance for Friends and Family?

I will do a more expansive review for everything at the end of the year, but I wanted to write today about doing freelance work for friends and family. Now the old adage when it comes to working for friends and family is, “don’t.” There’s definitely merit to that but more often than not, I find that to be a pretty rare exception—at least on the basis of difficulty to work with, but I’ll break that down too.

My mom teaching her Sunday school class, early 90s

Truth be told, pretty much all beginner freelance is exclusively for friends and family when you start out. Realistically, no one else is going to hire you! While I certainly didn’t have a solid directional plan when I was younger, I knew that illustration was something that would figure into my adult career if even only tangentially. My mother recognized this and fostered that creativity by being my first and arguably only client for years if not decades. She was responsible for all the youth programs at our church and would ask me to draw giant “pages” for stories she would tell in Sunday school (Christian education geared for kids during or around church time). Now a mother’s admiration and love is hardly good justification for quality, but while she swore up and down my poster size drawings helped keep her kids attention, they were hardly good. However, they did enforce several very important things to me such as deadlines and keeping up with design trends (if only what cartoon characters were popular with a very specific demographic at the time). These “jobs” also helped me refine my ability, so while I’m thrilled no one outside of a very select few have ever seen them, they set things in motion.

This year, I was able to pay those things forward with more than a few friends and family, and I’d like to talk about how those experiences are still really important for experienced professionals and not just those starting out. Typically, you’re not getting a decent payday from friends and family because it will hopefully be important for you to maintain those relationships on a deeper level than just “Jane and Johnny Client,” but that doesn’t mean they can’t still have an impact on you and your career.

Now speaking of only getting hired by friends and family in the beginning, I was really excited to work with an old friend who arguably had one of, if not the most, influence on my career. Even before I started my education, John Lambert was one of the very first adults I ever knew that always treated me like an equal, never ever talking down to me as a child, but also taking a key role guiding and teaching me as well. I was even his ring bearer at his wedding!

He had started the Gramercy Brass of New York in 1982, so when I was starting to put together my portfolio, it was this prestigious organizational name that I exploited for my resume. John had me help with everything from building sets and stages to giving me the opportunity to create my very first print ad. When I went on an interview, it was almost exclusively the work I did for John that got me in the door. Now John will modestly tell you he was asking me because I was eager to help and only lived a few blocks away, but the reality is that he was the first person to set a standard of quality. I would have to develop multiple concepts, ensure overall print quality, and above all else—strive for something that actually looked somewhat professional. Now none of that early work is good, but it was the catalyst, so I was very excited and honored when he asked me to help with creating the Gramercy Brass’ 40th Anniversary Journal. I can’t say I did anything over the top or groundbreaking, but when you have a relationship that’s about as old as you are, there’s a freedom with candor and understanding that you just can’t manufacture with a client, even if you’ve known them for years. This is primarily because John isn’t just a dear friend, but someone I put on a pedestal for helping me get started.

Left to right: John & I at a Gramercy Brass Orchestra concert in August, 1997. The very bad—but also my very first—print ad for the orchestra’s newest album at the time, American Anthems (2001). The cover and a single page for the GBO’s 40th Anniversary Journal. And finally, two significantly older but wiser men still happy to work together.

One could argue that this could easily be seen as an obligation rather than a job, but neither of us saw it that way and I was so happy to get to work with him like this again. In so many ways, it felt like it was 1997 all over again, and I loved it.

The next project and “client” I want to mention is Lucas Ross. Now I’ve talked about Lucas and how great a guy he is ad nauseam in the past, and it’s possible because of all that adulation he reached out to me to help him with his newest live album, There Will Be Banjo. Again, taking on this job could be seen as the logical “thanks” for all the work Lucas did as the host for my documentary from earlier in the year, The Making of The Great Muppet Mural (which you should totally watch today!). But Lucas and I had that spark of a moment multiple times during the documentary where we really just enjoyed working and talking together. While my intentions were to do so much more for Lucas, he was gracious enough to take what he could get from me with several illustrations he then assembled together himself, but Lucas was also a great client as well as a friend with how we continued to communicate.

Lucas with the Oklahoma Opry and the album cover to the live album

You see, when your day job, freelance, and hobby are all the same thing—in my case, drawing—there’s a nuanced way of going about such a thing with equal respect and attention to all three. Lucas has somewhat of a similar understanding with his music, and so I not only felt comfortable being more open with him about everything from technique to personal concerns, but also letting him use and manipulate my illustrations however he wanted. Lucas was also the key person in helping me understand how I need to better manage and even understand my time (something I’ll most likely write about in the coming weeks or months), and I had no compunctions telling him this. My inside joke is that these things will help me to best work with (just) Lucas again soon, but my reality is Lucas really helped me understand myself better in that way, and I can guarantee that’s never something I would have recognized with “just another client.” (Thanks again for that, man!)

The last instance is a combination of working with both a childhood, lifelong friend and my dad. Now both of these men have known me not just longer than everyone else, but better than everyone too. Plus, both of them needed my talents with a much quicker turnaround (although to be fair, with my dad, it was my fault as I kept putting it off). I grew up with (now Major) Myron Smith as one of my closest best friends. As tiny children, we would play basketball and music together—both for fun and competitively—to which Myron would always always best me. As teenagers, we would go to the beach and the ice rink weekly where we would skate and talk to girls—I was only slightly more adept at these over Myron, so I’ll take my trophy on this one. Technically, what my dad asked was just an update on something I had already done in the past, but as I’ve mentioned numerous times as well, my dad is a big deal to me, so it goes without saying he didn’t have to twist my arm (just remind me constantly!).

So if John and Lucas were varying levels of circles, Myron and dad are on the inner most ones. There are cons to working with people that know you that well for that long, but there’s also a freedom to it as well. You can experiment and try out techniques you wouldn’t with other clients because those close friends and family sure aren’t going to take their business elsewhere. You will also find rationalizing your own choices easier as well, because like them, you’re locked into those relationships too.

left to right: Myron an I in the mid 90s, all grown up (June, 2022), and my dad and I at an art show displaying his work (May, 2010)

In the end, all of these “jobs” secure a more fundamental appeal, and that’s getting the chance to reconnect with them. Do you ever say yes or no right away when friends or family commission you? What type of layering does it add to old relationships? How likely are you to work with or for an old friend or close family member? I’d love to hear your thoughts here, Instagram, or Twitter!

The Redraw Challenge: Part II

Last week I talked a lot about growing as an artist, leveling up, getting more familiar with that growth, and recognizing when you’ve just exceeded your own expectations. None of that was possible without this week’s post which was truly an insightful exercise and the whole purpose of this two part series! When I tell you both last week’s and this week’s post almost didn’t happen, it’s not for dramatic effect. I thought I really had hit my apex and I experienced a level of frustration I couldn’t even comprehend! But we’ll get to all that. First, we need to travel back in time again. Not just to last week, but to 2009.

The iconic Alan Moore & Dave Gibbon’s comic, actress Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II, and the 2009 Zack Snyder film

Watchmen is consistently one of the highest regarded comics of all times, and in 2009, Zack Snyder finally produced a film adaptation that has been recognized as being (in some cases too) faithful to the original source material. I’m not going to waste a lot of time on discussing whether or not it’s a good film as it’s a polarizing movie amongst fans. When I heard the announcement that it was being made however, I set out to read the comic for the first time. I therefore went into the theater with a very fresh understanding of the story and I was very thrilled with the flick. The casting in my opinion was perfect, especially with Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian, but the redesigned look of Silk Spectre II’s costume starring Malin Akerman was inspired. I had Watchmen fever and over the next couple of years, it served as a great inspiration when it came to drawing.

Of course I drew the Muppets as characters from the Watchmen! Originally featured on ToughPigs, December 2009 and Silk Spectre II, vector illustration 2014

Okay, so just to drive the point home again from last week; I found Silk Spectre II—a strong female comic hero—to be a muse and was also in the process of really honing my abilities with Adobe Illustrator, so in 2010 I had a leveling up moment by “inking” my sketches in Illustrator and then coloring them in Photoshop. This eliminated all digital debris that would be a causal problem from scanning. And hence I created what was at that time, a moment I recognized as a true level up point. I am beyond shocked now just how proud of this new drawing of Laurie Jupiter I was. Ladies and gentlemen, I am embarrassed to present to you the whole basis for this and last week’s post. Behold!

Thank you, BarbbarossaFrigyes for having the courage to say what everyone else was thinking

A second attempt in 2016

Looking back, I’m really struggling to understand exactly why I thought this was so great, but I totally did. I was still a few years away from taking those aforementioned figure drawing classes and I distinctly remember thinking how pleased I was that I didn’t use a model; backwards thinking at the time to compensate for a complete lack of understanding. I don’t need to break down how exceptionally off model she actually is here and the brush I used for the hair doesn’t even attempt to conform to the style I was going for. Still, I flaunted this piece everywhere and even used it in my portfolio! I wasn’t a young kid drawing this either! This is coming after I was thirty so I had no good reason to be so proud other than the line work. I have thought a lot about this piece ever since with an evolving curiosity in regards to everything I just mentioned and I have absolutely no good answer.

I wanted to justify my pride but eventually I couldn’t deny the best way to do that would be to redraw it. I even took a quick stab at it in 2016. This was a lot better but even my adoration of the movie was starting to wear thin. Then I started this blog and the concept immediately went into my ideas folder. “I’m a competent illustrator who’s miles beyond those days. This will be easy!” I thought. God I was so wrong. I ended up redrawing it THREE times and was completely unsatisfied thinking I hadn’t grown and maybe that doe–eyed Silk Spectre really was the best I could do.

First official attempt, 2022

Notice anything different between this first attempt and the original? Yeah, me neither! Initially I was trying to literally recreate the original with more realistic arms and newer color techniques but that was it. This wasn’t an exercise to show growth, this was modern day plagiarism from my initial drawing 12 years ago!

Second official attempt

I realized I was being too literal with my reinterpretation. I just needed to relax and approach it from a figure drawing perspective. After sleeping on it, I had my wife pose and I quickly roughed out a sketch. I wanted to keep the hair big but not like a large bob as I had done previously. The second result isn’t a bad drawing but it ain’t a good one either. What was I getting so wrong?

Third attempt

This time I took a whole week off from trying and got out of my head. I went full body on the pose and went to town hard on the coloring. I finally had an illustration that I liked but with zero soul. I was devastated. I purposely wanted to prove to myself and anyone else who read this blog that I could redraw this stupid old illustration that nobody asked for but had been living rent free in my head for 12 years. I packed up everything related to this post and moved it to the sad “Abandoned Ideas” folder on my hard drive and walked away.

Often when you work on any project—especially one you take a close personal interest in and for an extended amount of time—you get tunnel vision. You can’t see your own mistakes and you lock yourself up in a windowless room of self doubt. The reality was I was trying to not just redraw an old idea, but specifically an old idea that I felt very differently about back in 2010. The Watchmen may have remained relevant with new comics and the HBO series, but Silk Spectre II—specifically as played by Malin Akerman—was a fanboy muse from a time before everything in my current life: the pandemic, political polarization, where I lived, who I worked for, what I watched, who I associated with, what interested me, how I draw, and my daughter! Of course, I’ve talked about my daughter a lot in the past, and she proved to be an even better muse than Laurie Jupiter ever was.

A Luisa doll, a doodle I left in my daughter’s lunchbox one day, and the cool kid herself

As I’ve mentioned repeatedly before, I can draw Luisa from Disney’s Encanto from memory. Why? Because that’s all my five–year–old ever asks me to do. She’s a huge fangirl and I love how excited she gets with anything Luisa related. Plus I really like Encanto and Luisa too, but when you draw a character so often, you really want to branch out and try something different every once in a while. So when my daughter got an actual Luisa figure, I could now use it for reference. One of my favorite artists is Charles Dana Gibson, and prints of his famous Gibson Girls adorn my home and work offices, and I (as seen in the previous attempts at Silk Spectre II) love drawing people in profile. And that is when it finally hit me. I wasn’t just missing the challenge of redrawing my old illustration, I was missing the whole point.

Now it may seem like I’m asking you (and myself) to make a huge leap here to quantify drawing a Disney character in place of a Zack Snyder re–imagined Dave Gibbons character from a very adult comic. The focal point of the subject though is fundamentally the same: a strong female super hero, specifically one with great design, well thought out character traits, and a wonderful arc that helps define and evolve their world view. Then take into consideration that part of my pride in the original drawing was also surrounded by honing a new technique. In the case of Silk Spectre, it was comfortably merging Adobe creative suite products to achieve a look I had only dreamed of up until that point. With my new inspiration focused on Luisa, it’s marrying the fundamentals I learned from figure drawing and fully embracing Procreate & the Apple Pencil. To cap off the epiphany, I was determined to take the fun and cartoonish design of an animated character and change the style to pay homage to the style of Charles Dana Gibson. In short, I was going to take all that I learned and loved and play with it in a new playground with the intentions of achieving something I had never tried before.

Luisa Madrigal (voiced by Jessica Darrow), some of Gibson’s famous Gibson Girls in profile, and my sketch of my newly inspired redraw challenge subject. If you are wondering, I sketched her nude to properly achieve weight displacement and to make sure her muscle structure and limbs were accurate in length and size.

As soon as I finished my sketch (which oddly enough I did in Photoshop), I knew I was finally on the right track. I was excited, I was pleased, and I was in it for the long haul. I wasn’t going to bust this out in a day or two, I was going to immerse myself in it and take all the time in the world to achieve my goal. I’ve been amazed with Procreate and the Apple Pencil’s intuitiveness, but I also wanted to limit myself with brushes so I stayed almost exclusively with it’s ink technical pen (a halftone brush on her skirt was the only exception). Each strand of hair would be drawn as opposed to using a hair brush (not a hair brush in the traditional sense but a digital brush used to simulate human hair). I shaded using the same technical pen brush as well, painstakingly keeping all my line art clean and crisp. I also wanted to avoid my own personal bad habit of spending lots of time on the subjects face and then rushing through the rest. This meant shading and properly recognizing folds in the clothing as well. I wanted to honor Gibson’s style and that meant a lot of time staying zoomed in tight and making sure it all worked up close as well as from a distance.

In the spirit of Charles Dana Gibson (and because of all the intricate line work), I originally intended to keep it black and white, but my daughter insisted it needed color. I digitally painted it with the understanding I would pull the colors way back and the final piece made me feel even more accomplished than Silk Spectre II did so long ago. My faith in myself and this entire blog entry was thus restored. The final illustration took just over 9 hours to complete (not including all the other nonsense I wasted trying to draw Ms. Jupiter).

Man, what a fun experience! I have a huge collection of my old art I’d love to tackle and redraw, but I think I’ll put it on the shelf for now. Please follow me on Instagram and Twitter and come back here every Friday for more creative thinking experiments, interviews, and stories.

A Gonzo Father's Day Gift

For the first nine years of my life, it was just my dad and I. As a child, he was a superhero to me. As a teenager, we certainly had our ups and downs and I can’t say I was his biggest fan. As an adult (and especially now as a father myself), he is again a superhero to me. The ultimate superhero. 

I very vividly remember going to something of a book fair when I was in kindergarten and getting him the first gift I ever bought; a coffee mug with “Dad“ repeated over and over which he still has today.

I mentioned before that my dad is largely responsible for my love of the Muppets. Being the two swinging bachelors that we were back in the early 80s, we would have dinner together in our tiny guestroom where our television set was and watch The Muppet Show or Fraggle Rock. We would laugh and look back and forth at each other—him on the couch and me nestled in our green and blue shag carpet—musing over a gag or song (Quick parenting pro tip: actually watch TV with your kids. Don’t go on your phone or whatever. Bond over your child’s interests in that program. I know it’s hard, I struggle too sometimes. A lot of kids shows today are actually pretty good though!).

My dad and I in the ball pit at Sesame Place in Pennsylvania, circa the early 1980s

I would often draw pictures of the Muppets for my dad including the above, nifty picture of Gonzo which is the focal point of the story I am sharing today. I had found this crude drawing a while back and thought it was so funny how I’ve essentially been drawing these characters my whole life. I knew I wanted to do something else—something new—with this fading illustration on dot matrix printer paper, but I wasn’t exactly sure what. 

A few illustrations of the famous weirdo a few years after the original drawing I had done for my dad

Not too long after, I was lucky enough to be invited to the set of the 2015 sitcom, The Muppets. What an absolutely amazing day in my life, but the real opportunity was to use this old illustration to my advantage. Like most dads with their kids, my father is very proud of me, and the opportunities I’ve had to work for the Muppets have been a super fun subject for us to focus on. I decided I was going to give this drawing I did of Gonzo for my dad back to him, only this time with an upgrade. So on the day I went to the set in Burbank, I tucked my old art away until I could show it to the muse who inspired it.

On set talking to Dave Goelz (and Peter Linz hidden behind me). John Kennedy looks on from the side. February 4, 2016

I had briefly met Dave Goelz before, and I was very grateful he remembered me. Goelz has been The Great Gonzo’s performer since 1976 and he is incredibly kind and gracious. Getting to hang out with him and the rest of the crew is easily one of the greatest moments of my life and I wanted to make sure I used my time well. After lunch, people were just hanging out, so I took my chance and approached Dave with my very old, very crude fan art with one request, “Please sign it.” Dave was floored that I would ask him to “ruin” something so special I had made for my dad so long ago. “These things are so precious to me!” he protested. “I can’t!” Here’s where I was able to tell this man who inspired me creatively so much as a child—and well into adulthood—about my father. How we watched everything together when I was a kid, how much we both love the Muppets, how proud he was of me that I was there and having the opportunity to be commissioned by them, and how special it would be now if Gonzo could circle back and justify not just the trajectory of my career, but our entire fandom.

Dave Goelz acquiesced and then asked, “Who should I sign it to?” I explained my father and I both had the same name and are both artists, so it could effectively be for both of us. Dave then added, “Hope this art thing works out for you!” Signed by both Dave himself and everyone’s favorite Whatever. Perfection!

Four months later, I not only gave this newly autographed art back to my father, but included a picture of me around the age I would have been when I first drew it holding a Fisher Price plush Gonzo dress up doll, the Gonzo illustration that was included in one of the commissioned pieces I did for the performers that hung in Dave’s dressing room, and a shot of me holding the old art alongside its subject matter—Gonzo himself.

Little me with my plush Gonzo on top of the Howard Johnson’s in Asbury Park, NJ circa 1983 on the far left

One could make the argument this is a slightly cooler Father’s Day gift than that mug I first got him, but for me it’s confirmation that my dad is really the one who gave me such an incredible gift: a loving superhero of a dad who inspired me just as much if not a whole lot more than the Muppets themselves ever could.

Dad and I with a certain Frog (Christmas 1980), my whole family going to see The Muppets (November 24, 2011), and my dad and Abby Cadabby on the set of Sesame Street (November 1, 2018)

Happy Father’s Day to all you amazing dads who make your kids feel like they can do anything, especially my own father and Dave Goelz too! Follow me on Instagram and Twitter and tune into this blog every Friday for more fun and creative thinking.

Creative Daddy II: The First 5 Years

When I wrote about finding a creative outlet through kids and how exciting it can be, I neglected to really show off what that entailed. I suggest you check that post out first if you haven’t already, but with Father’s Day a little over two weeks away, I thought I would share some of what that actually looks like and present some of what my daughter and I have a blast doing.

She couldn’t directly contribute to our shared creative endeavors as a baby, but she was still a huge inspiration

Now initially there wasn’t much she could do being a newborn, but that never stopped her from being my newfound muse. Mostly I drew her and it is always a privilege to draw my daughter. It’s very meta to watch my art of her grow with her and that’s something I’ll do for the rest of our lives. I also found fun ways to incorporate her into other mediums.

Also featured are her cousin and mommy!

Every kid starts with crayons before their parents introduce—then immediately take away—markers. Of course, these are mediums that we’ll use for years to come. My daughter and I still love drawing giant posters that we hang all over the house. At first there was no rhyme or reason to our drawing. I would casually draw while she would climb all over me and scribble all over the paper, me, the floor, the wall, the television, the cat, and most prominently herself. Nowadays we plan what we will put on our posters (usually characters from whatever she’s currently in to) and then wallpaper the playroom. This isn’t just a fun thing to do, it’s decorative and serves a purpose.

I was convinced we weren’t getting our security deposit back on the apartment we moved from there were so many marks on the walls and floors!

The other fun thing about these giant posters is that they are shared experiences for my wife as well as anyone who comes over to visit. Family always contributes time to coloring these posters and its a great activity anyone can share in.

The real irony is how we no longer really watch any of these particular shows anymore, but we still love having them decorate our playroom

Afterwards, we make something of a big deal when we formally place our poster up on the wall and peruse the place like a museum.

One of our more prominent creative outlets have been our Big Show; a fun little talk show style video series where we chat about any and everything. We’ve even occasionally done a news type segment. This gives her a chance to not only be seen but heard and who doesn’t love watching themselves on TV?

What makes everything we do so much fun is often how new it seems for both of us. Paper maché, construction paper stick puppets, our own newspaper, rock painting, or even just regular playtime. She’s even getting more interested in photography.

Dry erase markers on windows is a lot of fun if you remember to explain only those markers on only the windows

However, what we’re known for throughout our neighborhood is chalk drawing in our driveway (in fact, we even recently created an Instagram account for that we would love for you to follow!). Whether it’s taking suggestions from other kids or making huge holiday murals, I tend to get more carried away than she does. What I have to constantly tell myself is that this is our project, not mine. I may draw the lion share of stuff, but it’s 100% okay for her to contribute or draw over. It’s not messing something up if it’s a collaborative effort she loves as well.

Follow us on Instagram @rosestartsp

I’m also grateful that I’m not the only creative influence she has. We have many variations of talented artists in our family and close circle of friends that expose her to music, dance, writing, acting, and just being silly for the sake of silly.

My wife, dad, brother–in–law, and sister are just a few of the other creative people in my daughter’s life

While drawing will always be my immediate go–to with her, I never want her to feel obligated to follow directly in my footsteps. It’s natural for a creative person to be highly influential in a child’s development, but it’s important they have opportunity to find their own voice, their own style, their own approach. Being creative isn’t limited to, “the arts.” It’s about being able to see things differently so that problem solving is an open–minded pursuit. And if you’re wondering, my daughter adores her school art teacher, insisting, “He’s a way better artist than you, daddy” which I absolutely love. Not just because she doesn’t have an obligation to putting me on such a pedestal, but because she feels comfortable enough to set her own boundaries and even start to appreciate different art forms, styles, and approaches.

Sharing artwork together

My (step) mom always said after she married my dad and became my mom, “There’s no manual” referring to how much of a learning curve there is to being a parent. That continues to make more and more sense the older my daughter gets, but I think there’s something to be said for parental instinct. I started drawing her little pictures for her to find in her lunchbox when she started school before someone my wife and I admire suggested we be careful so as not to make it seem like we were forcing any of our interests onto her, or worse; take attention away from her friends and accidentally redirecting it on to us. Having grown up without my mother often meant I felt I had huge shoes to fill and I didn’t want that burden to be placed on my daughter. After a couple weeks of not placing these drawings in her lunchbox however, she read me the riot act about being disappointed that there were no drawings with her snacks anymore. Now I can draw Louisa from Disney’s Encanto from memory.

Princess Tiana (with a special frog), Luisa from Encanto, a cheese bear-ger, and Bruno also from Encanto

In the end, my personal feeling is that whatever my daughter finds joy in, that is where her passion will lie. Having the creative freedom to find that joy is such a fun and wonderful journey, that it’s beyond developmentally stimulating; it’s foundational too. Please follow me on Instagram and Twitter and follow my blog every Friday!

A little bit silly, a little bit fantasy, a lot of fun, and a healthy helping of “throw a ton of stuff at the wall and see what sticks”

Creative Daddy

I’ve had this website for quite some time now, but only recently decided to start using it more actively via this blog as some of you may have noticed. Part of this is simply to justify my annual registration fees, but the other part is more personal and something I’ve touched on briefly before. The reality is that the pandemic has really hit home the idea of just getting stuff done. As the parents of a toddler/pre–schooler, that’s a different scenario my wife and I have faced than others. I don’t mean to insinuate we had/have it harder than anyone else, only that any creative endeavors or dreams pursuant to such did not have the luxury of “finally getting to with all this spare time” during quarantine, you dig?

I’ll spare you the long version, but in short; we weren’t able to have a child when we were ready to. It was many years of heartache, determination, and frustration before our daughter was born. It didn’t just happen, so when it finally did, I was thrilled to put all my dreams, aspirations, and even just basic creative habits on hold for the time being knowing full well I’d resume them eventually and with a new ethos. A lot easier said than done, especially at first, but now that she’s getting older and we can explore our innovative sides together, the internal creative renaissance I’m experiencing through her is greater than I could have ever imagined. Hence this blog! So fade to black, roll credits, “They lived happily ever after” and toss in a copyright so everyone knows to leave the theater.

My daughter and father coloring one of our big posters (Dec. 4, 2019) and my daughter fixing up my own drawing (Aug. 16, 2020)

What’s actually happened is a wellspring of ideas thanks to seeing the world almost fully through the eyes of a child again, and if I’m being honest, I’m a bit overwhelmed by it.

A fun experiment I did with my niece back in 2014.

I’m gonna’ take it back for a second and heap all this ridiculous need to show love and guidance to a child on my nibling & niece. How dare they make me love them so much. Anyway, being around kids from a creative standpoint is just—and I am not exaggerating here—the best. I once went way off topic on an article I wrote for ToughPigs that touched upon all of this, just so I could use my niece as a way to explore creativity and how effortlessly kids tear down rules in the most brilliant ways. And I’m sure my sister–and–brother–in–law wouldn’t mind if I took fractional credit for the artistic direction my insanely consummate nibling has taken along with their sister who is also a very talented artist. The three of us based almost all of our time together around creating and creativity. Whether it was making up stories, art projects, silly home movies (a continued childhood tradition with my own sister and brother when they were kids), or drawing games where we’d each “add” to the others picture for a minute before passing it back again. Both of them are almost solely responsible for our desire to have a kid of our own (I love you Z & G!).

My nibling, niece, and I draw their amenable uncle (Sept. 18, 2016).

So now my daughter is Little Miss Personality like all toddlers, and instead of putting innovation and imagination on hold, it extends to every inch of our home. We create giant posters that we hang all over the playroom, we have our own “Big Show” where we talk about every and anything that interests us, we play dress up, we do puppet shows, make books, science experiments, crafts all the time, toys, and even a newspaper!

Paper maché helmets (Jan. 12, 2021) and The Bella Daddy News (March 24, 2019).

I swear, I am not putting all this out there to go, “Whee! Parenting is fun and easy when you’re creative! Look at the things I did!” Because every parent will tell you this life is rewarding but exhausting. I’ll expand more in a bit about getting back on the road towards creative independence, but in the meantime, here’s an actual conversation I had with my daughter one night when I was struggling with how to properly channel all my re–found inspiration.

“Daddy, let’s talk about your feelings”
“Okay.”
“Are you feeling sad?”
“Yes, I have a little sadness right now.”
“Are you feeling angry?”
“Um, maybe a little bit angry, sure.”
“Are you happy?”
“Oh yes, I’m very much happy. In fact all my feelings are connected to you and mommy. I’m a little sad and angry I have to leave you both tomorrow when I go to work. But I’m very happy I’m with you right now and that I get to be with you when I get home.”
“Are you feeling tentinary?”
“What’s tentinary mean?”
“Tentinary means you’re feeling a little soddish. And soddish means you’re feeling a little shy about meeting someone you don’t know. Not like somebody you don’t know, but like somebody you do know. Not really that thinkable like your head is feeling a little weird.”
“Bella, I need help coming up with a word to describe how I’m feeling. If I tell you what I’m feeling, will you come up with a word for it? A word that will describe it?”
“Yes.”
“I have a whole lot of ideas in my head. Like, a whole lot of ideas just running around inside my head, but I don’t know how many—if any—of them are good ideas. What would you call that?”
“How about… snotty?”
“Snotty?!”
“Yeah, snotty.”
“Wait, snotty with a ‘T’ or snoddy with a ‘D’?”
“How about snotty with an ‘S’?
“So… snossy?”
Lots of laughing. “Yeah, snossy!”
“We’ll then, tonight I’m feeling very snossy.”

“Blocks” of varying sorts happen in all creative fields and the solution is usually to view things from a different point of view. Kids have zero regard or understanding for creative rules that we build around us so they can easily demolish them. They’re not all brilliant ideas, they just facilitate very helpful ways to see around a problem. For example, my daughter doesn’t have any obligation to kerning (optical, metrical, or otherwise) when writing her name or even to keep it aligned, level, or baselined. You could very easily write it off as a little kid just learning to properly write their name, or you could ask her why she does it like that. The insight proves to be a different point of view and it’s refreshing, even if it defies your personal aesthetic.

When my sister, brother, and I were making home movies without any editing suite, we created things off the cuff, spontaneously, and—in the eyes of a cinematographer—completely wrong. That in turn pushed me to learn more by the time my nibling and niece came along and helped form my sense of storytelling. Now my daughter not only gets to enjoy all that experience but help build upon it for both our benefits. I’m not saying these things made me a consummate professional when it comes to media and video editing, but I don’t think I would have ever been able to make The Making of The Great Muppet Mural without those personal points of reference, and yes I absolutely am still talking about that documentary!

Rockin’ out with my sister & brother (circa 1993) and Attack of the Killer Guinea Pig! with my nibling & niece (May 2015)

Now that my daughter is older, I’m finding (a little) more free time of my own creative volition. This is significant in a few ways. For starters, I’m transitioning back into something familiar but with a newfound and invigorated angle. It’s also like having the training wheels taken off all over again as we enter this new stage of her life. A more world–wary five–year–old will bring new ideas, and her old dad will happily navigate those waters with her. If I could find ways to entertain and teach her as a baby and toddler, imagine what she’ll show me with a full vocabulary, fantastic sense of humor, and an end to doggedly asking me to draw Cookie Monster over and over again (now being replaced with Luisa from Disney’s Encanto).

Luisa Madrigal

My whole point and belief has not changed in nearly twenty years though; kids are one of if not the best resource for finding one’s creative wellspring. It’s not just about breaking down walls and getting new perspectives, it’s about tapping into your own unrestricted and unrequited passion for being a creative person. Misery may love company, but creativity cherishes collaboration, even if it’s with someone who is a fraction of your own age. Inject the musings and whims of a child into your process just once and see if it captures any of your old flares and dreams. As a bonus, the child will benefit immensely as well! The best way to foster creativity and imagination is to show how accessible it is. Don’t try to be “cool” in front of other parents or adults. All that does is build back up the walls of restriction and shows a child they’re not your main priority.

We are normal family.

For stuff other than illustrations of Luisa, I’d love it if you followed me on Instagram & Twitter!

Of course one of my biggest thrills was drawing Luisa for her class!